The Genie Developer
He’s a genie because he grants any wish in a snap, even if the second-order effects end up killing your family.
People say he’s autistic. And it’s true in the 26 months you’ve worked together, he has of yet made eye contact. Balls of steel + genius intellect one time, helpless child the next. Doesn’t read fiction. Well on track spending $0 of his own money on theater tickets this lifetime at 34.
Reports 8 Jiras done for the day. 5 of which he caused.
Has the code ready to be copied from his mind to the IDE before the boss has finished articulating whatever dumbfuck thing it is this week.
Never pushes back. Wants to solve programming puzzles that take hours to days, forever. The more the merrier. Lacks awareness of lacking awareness of the concepts ‘quarterly revenue’ and ‘Christmas bonus’.
Fixes the bug he introduced yesterday before the morning stand-up starts. No comment when a useless feature he had to add gets reverted 6 months in.
Daydreaming whether I’d like the guy fired or cloned, I catch myself in a bad place. We have no shortage of timidness and deliberation these days. He gets shit done. Sometimes he does things he shouldn’t, but at least he’s capable of doing them in the first place.
All that’s needed is someone to point that scorching problem-solving laser in the right direction.
